Russian politeness
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Politeness in Russian: Ты or Вы? Patronymics
When to use ты
Ты is an informal way of addressing people. Ты is used when speaking to friends, members of the family, to those who are younger than oneself. One could even say that this way of addressing applies to those people with whom one does not feel any distance. Note that ты is used when addressing a single person, while вы would be used to address a group of people, no matter the relation.
When to use вы
Вы is a polite way of addressing a single person, and also the plural form of "you". Вы is used when speaking to teachers in schools or universities, to elderly people, in general to those who are older than oneself, also to whom one feels or wants or must show one's respect. Вы is used when speaking to strangers if they are older or do not belong to the same group of society (it is obvious that if you are a rocker you will not use вы to address another rocker even if you see him or her for the first time in your life and if he/she is older). Thus, as you may have noticed, вы implies some distance.
Notice that "вы" can be written with a capital letter ("Вы"). This form is often used in documents, letters and in other situations when one wants to be polite. However, this form applies only to a single person, it is incorrect to use it for single plural person. Also, it is not correct to write "Вы" in direct speech. Examples:
Я надеюсь, что Вы уже чувствуете себя лучше(in a letter)--I hope that you feel better already
Я спросил у нее:"Сколько вам лет?"(direct speech) -- I asked her:"how old are you?"
Patronymics
Patronymic is another form of expressing respect, politeness or distance. Name+Patronymic are usually used together with the polite form вы (e.g.: А что вы думаете по этому поводу, Иван Петрович?). If you use only patronymic without name when addressing a person (e.g.: Здорово, Петрович! Что скажешь, Петрович?) this means that you are friends and you use only ты in this case – it is quite colloquial.
Of course, there may be exceptions. For example, you might address one of your friends (!) using вы and patronymic: Здравствуйте, Елена Владимировна. A Russian would usually smile at this moment. It is kind of a funny game, but not only game, some respect too, you could say. It is difficult to explain even for a native speaker. In some families people sometimes also address one another using name and patronymic, though again this is not meant so seriously. So the grandfather might for example ask his granddaughter: Ну, что скажешь, Ирина Олеговна?
But in general it is not so important to know all these nuances. Probably you are eager to know which form of addressing to choose in some difficult situations. OK, say вы and you will never sound rude. If the person you have addressed with вы feels that there is no need to keep any distance, the situation is informal or he/she is such a person who prefers to be addressed only with ты, then he/she will tell you about this him/herself, he/she may say: Говори мне ты. Or in the case when you use name+patronymic: Зови(те) меня просто по имени.
